Huwag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa amin
Dahil hindi ko alam kung mga titig na ya'y para sa akin
O sa kanyang mas may gandang angkin
Baka mali aking akalain
Huwag kang ngumiti ng ganyan
Tabi kami ng upuan
Baka isipin kong para sa akin yan
Hala, baka ika'y ngitian
Pakiusap huwag mong hayaang isipin ko na ako nga
Tapos siya pala
Tapos mahal ka rin nya
Ayoko namang maging kontrabida
Tapos magiging kayo
Sasabihin kong masaya ako para sa inyo
Kahit parang sasabog na ako
Kahit ang sakit-sakit na dito
Masakit, mahirap kasi wala akong masabihan
Pinili mo kasi'y aking kaibigan
Iiyak na lang mag-isa
Gagamutin ang sarili ng di nyo nakikita
Kasi walang kasing sakit ang umasa
Pag hindi naman pala pinapaasa
Sanay na ako sa buhay ng walang nanliligaw
Kaya wag mong ipahiwatig na baka ikaw
Tapos hindi pala.
Kaya tapos na.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Starstruck
Crush kita kaya lang hindi na kasi ngayon lang tayo ulit nagkita. Pero maingat na maingat pa rin akong tumitingin sa'yo kasi baka mahuli mo at ng prof natin ngayon.
Pero, nahuli mo ako.Nagkatinginan tayo. Pakiramdam ko namula ang buong mukha ko kaya tumalikod ako. ang init ng mga tenga ko. Hindi ko mapigilang tumawa at ngumiti. Parang hindi ako makahinga.
DEEP BREATH. Inhale. 1, 2, 3. Exhale.
Hanggang ngayon nakangiti pa rin ako. Hindi ko na nga maalala kung ngumiti ka rin ba, sumimangot o tumalikod. Hindi ako conscious sa paligid ko nung mga oras na yun. Wala akong maalala kundi yung kakaibang feeling na yun. Hindi ko alam kung sano bang ginawa mo para magkaganoon ako. Pag-alis mo, na-realize ko na lang....
na, for the first time..na-starstruck ako...=)
Pero, nahuli mo ako.Nagkatinginan tayo. Pakiramdam ko namula ang buong mukha ko kaya tumalikod ako. ang init ng mga tenga ko. Hindi ko mapigilang tumawa at ngumiti. Parang hindi ako makahinga.
DEEP BREATH. Inhale. 1, 2, 3. Exhale.
Hanggang ngayon nakangiti pa rin ako. Hindi ko na nga maalala kung ngumiti ka rin ba, sumimangot o tumalikod. Hindi ako conscious sa paligid ko nung mga oras na yun. Wala akong maalala kundi yung kakaibang feeling na yun. Hindi ko alam kung sano bang ginawa mo para magkaganoon ako. Pag-alis mo, na-realize ko na lang....
na, for the first time..na-starstruck ako...=)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Confessions...ko
Well, I’m wondering why I’m still up. I should be sleeping by now. My eye bags are getting darker and bigger. But maybe the sleep fairy forgot to visit me.
Something inside me hurts right now. I feel so heavy inside. And I caught myself rehearsing what I could have said that day. Alam kong hindi ko na maibabalik yung araw na yun or even those that I have let pass me by. But here I am imagining what could have happened if I said “ Kailangan mo ba ng kausap o gusto mong mag-isa?” Silly me. My tears are preparing to fall again but I hold them back. I hold them back like I usually do. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagdadrama ngayong gabi. Maybe because every song that radio station plays reminds me of you. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko maamin sa sarili kong minahal kita kaya siguro hindi ko rin malaman kung hanggang ngayon mahal pa rin kita. It’s just that when you’re out of my sight I regret the things I didn’t do to get closer to you but whenever you’re near my mind says “eeew.” Ang yabang-yabang ko pero heto naman ako hindi makatulog. I don’t know if you are the reason why there’s no one new in my life or the other way around na dahil walang bago sa buhay ko, I stick with you. I don’t know if I love you or I love the thought of loving you. I want to say that I’m really sorry but I don’t want to elaborate why I am sorry. Nagdadrama ako ngayon but I’m sure I will do everything para hindi niya mabasa ito. Am I really in love or is my brain just searching for things to occupy my mind habang sembreak? I can’t find anything to justify that I love him but also, I can’t find things to disprove it. Hindi ko lang siguro talaga matanggap sa sarili ko kung ano yung mga nararamdaman ko. But why? I’m so stupid. Maybe I’m still so immature.
Nakakalimutan ko ang mga bagay na ito when I’m at school but when I’m all alone, these things fill me. Regrets flow in again. I don’t even know where those regrets came from. I don’t know if they are caused by something real or they are just products of nerve actions in my brain. I don’t know if my heart really hurts or my cholesterol level just got higher. I don’t know. Wish I could open up my chest and just read what’s inside or I hope my body can explain to me what’s happening to her parts. I don’t know why I’m like this.
I don’t know. I really don’t. I guess my feelings aren’t as easy to read as a book na kahit ako hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko. It’s like I’m staring at a blank paper. I can’t see anything but I know it’s full of things I have to realize. It’s like a population with very heterogeneous characteristics that you cannot draw a valid sample to represent it. You have study every element but that’s crazy. I’m crazy. I hope it’s just another data set so I can compute for the correlation but again it’s crazy. I’m crazy.
Please don’t think too much about this. REMEMBER: I’m crazy. Mukha na akong tanga kaya matutulog na ako.
Something inside me hurts right now. I feel so heavy inside. And I caught myself rehearsing what I could have said that day. Alam kong hindi ko na maibabalik yung araw na yun or even those that I have let pass me by. But here I am imagining what could have happened if I said “ Kailangan mo ba ng kausap o gusto mong mag-isa?” Silly me. My tears are preparing to fall again but I hold them back. I hold them back like I usually do. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagdadrama ngayong gabi. Maybe because every song that radio station plays reminds me of you. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko maamin sa sarili kong minahal kita kaya siguro hindi ko rin malaman kung hanggang ngayon mahal pa rin kita. It’s just that when you’re out of my sight I regret the things I didn’t do to get closer to you but whenever you’re near my mind says “eeew.” Ang yabang-yabang ko pero heto naman ako hindi makatulog. I don’t know if you are the reason why there’s no one new in my life or the other way around na dahil walang bago sa buhay ko, I stick with you. I don’t know if I love you or I love the thought of loving you. I want to say that I’m really sorry but I don’t want to elaborate why I am sorry. Nagdadrama ako ngayon but I’m sure I will do everything para hindi niya mabasa ito. Am I really in love or is my brain just searching for things to occupy my mind habang sembreak? I can’t find anything to justify that I love him but also, I can’t find things to disprove it. Hindi ko lang siguro talaga matanggap sa sarili ko kung ano yung mga nararamdaman ko. But why? I’m so stupid. Maybe I’m still so immature.
Nakakalimutan ko ang mga bagay na ito when I’m at school but when I’m all alone, these things fill me. Regrets flow in again. I don’t even know where those regrets came from. I don’t know if they are caused by something real or they are just products of nerve actions in my brain. I don’t know if my heart really hurts or my cholesterol level just got higher. I don’t know. Wish I could open up my chest and just read what’s inside or I hope my body can explain to me what’s happening to her parts. I don’t know why I’m like this.
I don’t know. I really don’t. I guess my feelings aren’t as easy to read as a book na kahit ako hindi ko rin maintindihan ang sarili ko. It’s like I’m staring at a blank paper. I can’t see anything but I know it’s full of things I have to realize. It’s like a population with very heterogeneous characteristics that you cannot draw a valid sample to represent it. You have study every element but that’s crazy. I’m crazy. I hope it’s just another data set so I can compute for the correlation but again it’s crazy. I’m crazy.
Please don’t think too much about this. REMEMBER: I’m crazy. Mukha na akong tanga kaya matutulog na ako.
Why Study??
I’ve heard a lot of people, especially students, ask: why do I have to study calculus? Why do I have to prove that this identity is equal to this? When I go shopping, the clerk will not express my bill in terms of limits. And when I ride on an airplane it’s not necessary for me to compute the angle of depression or elevation nor do I need to compute the velocity of the plane. Eventually, we will forget about these things. So why study them when they will not help us in the future?
Justifiably, we can reason that these are not applicable to actual life. But believe me, it is.
Look at it this way, a baby will not need a diaper when he grows up but at the moment it is essential for him to have one. This is parallel to the necessity of studying calculus, genetics and the other “difficult subjects.” We may not be able to use these in the future but it is still necessary that we study them because they are prerequisites of the bachelor’s degree we want to earn. And a bachelor’s degree is important to find a job. And to find a job is important to sustain our life necessities and ad infinitum. Therefore, studying them is crucial to us.
I also hear people cursing the scientists for discovering, let’s say, the elements because if it wouldn’t be for them, we wouldn’t be memorizing voluminous atomic numbers, atomic weights and electronic configurations. Well, instead of cursing them, we should thank them and consider ourselves lucky because these scientists spent all their lives trying to know these properties, unlike us. We do not have to spend our whole lives just to know that hydrogen is the lightest element or to figure out that energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light. Before they have to travel around the world just to study different histories and culture unlike us because we can see the world with just one click. We can learn about China’s history through a book neatly compiled for us.
We must understand that the people we are cursing researched for the benefit of the human race, to make our life more comfortable and convenient. All they did benefits us now.
So, do you want the teenagers in of the 21st century to read in history books that the students in the year 2007 did nothing but curse the great scientists? I’m sure you don’t so grab your book, start studying seriously. In reality, the speed of your learning and understanding process is not dependent of the subject, it is dependent on how you try to understand and how eager you are to understand.
Justifiably, we can reason that these are not applicable to actual life. But believe me, it is.
Look at it this way, a baby will not need a diaper when he grows up but at the moment it is essential for him to have one. This is parallel to the necessity of studying calculus, genetics and the other “difficult subjects.” We may not be able to use these in the future but it is still necessary that we study them because they are prerequisites of the bachelor’s degree we want to earn. And a bachelor’s degree is important to find a job. And to find a job is important to sustain our life necessities and ad infinitum. Therefore, studying them is crucial to us.
I also hear people cursing the scientists for discovering, let’s say, the elements because if it wouldn’t be for them, we wouldn’t be memorizing voluminous atomic numbers, atomic weights and electronic configurations. Well, instead of cursing them, we should thank them and consider ourselves lucky because these scientists spent all their lives trying to know these properties, unlike us. We do not have to spend our whole lives just to know that hydrogen is the lightest element or to figure out that energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light. Before they have to travel around the world just to study different histories and culture unlike us because we can see the world with just one click. We can learn about China’s history through a book neatly compiled for us.
We must understand that the people we are cursing researched for the benefit of the human race, to make our life more comfortable and convenient. All they did benefits us now.
So, do you want the teenagers in of the 21st century to read in history books that the students in the year 2007 did nothing but curse the great scientists? I’m sure you don’t so grab your book, start studying seriously. In reality, the speed of your learning and understanding process is not dependent of the subject, it is dependent on how you try to understand and how eager you are to understand.
OH MY GOD!!
The other day, somebody told me that have to practice this and that to be saved, to enter the kingdom of God. I’m not an atheist but I believe that nobody has the right to tell me that I’m not going to be saved except God. I also believe that every individual has their own religion, that is, that everyone has their own way of worshipping God. I‘m a Catholic and I do not have the right to say that Muslims will not be saved just because they do not practice the things that I do. They have their own way of worshipping God and I must respect that. Different religions may call God with different names but these names, I believe, are referring to just one God.
Another thing is the Bible. I am a Catholic and I know its importance but right now, many people are arguing about the interpretation of the Bible. Different scholars interpret it differently so they are in dispute of what is the correct interpretation. In my own point of view, we must not argue about it because two people can look at the same thing and see differently. In other words, every individual has his or her own interpretation of the Bible and for me, the way you interpret the Bible is God’s message to you. It is what God wants you to do. I have faith that God set a unique mission for every person and because of His unconditional love, He is giving us all the chances. We may fail once or twice but as long as we learn from that failure, I know, He’s going to give us another try. God’s love is unconditional, eternal, it is not selective, it is not biased and it is available for everybody whose hearts are open to let it in.
Another thing is the Bible. I am a Catholic and I know its importance but right now, many people are arguing about the interpretation of the Bible. Different scholars interpret it differently so they are in dispute of what is the correct interpretation. In my own point of view, we must not argue about it because two people can look at the same thing and see differently. In other words, every individual has his or her own interpretation of the Bible and for me, the way you interpret the Bible is God’s message to you. It is what God wants you to do. I have faith that God set a unique mission for every person and because of His unconditional love, He is giving us all the chances. We may fail once or twice but as long as we learn from that failure, I know, He’s going to give us another try. God’s love is unconditional, eternal, it is not selective, it is not biased and it is available for everybody whose hearts are open to let it in.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Effortlessly
I hate the way you smile so sweetly
I hate the way you kneel down to pray fervently
I hate to know that you can sing
I hate to realize that you can do almost everything
I hate dreaming you could walk me home
I hate hoping you’d text my phone
I hate seeing you close your eyes and still looking so admirable
I hate realizing how good you are and responsible
I hate seeing you everyday
I hate admiring you uncontrollably
I hate smiling when you come across my way
But most of all, I hate the way you make me fall for you……effortlessly.
I hate the way you kneel down to pray fervently
I hate to know that you can sing
I hate to realize that you can do almost everything
I hate dreaming you could walk me home
I hate hoping you’d text my phone
I hate seeing you close your eyes and still looking so admirable
I hate realizing how good you are and responsible
I hate seeing you everyday
I hate admiring you uncontrollably
I hate smiling when you come across my way
But most of all, I hate the way you make me fall for you……effortlessly.
The 1st
You’re the 1st person who made me write all these stuff
The 1st one who paired my tear with a laugh
You’re the 1st person who caused my tears to blush
The very 1st one who caused my adrenaline rush
You’re the very 1st reason of my long blank stares
The very 1st reason of my smiles in midair
The 1st trigger of the electric shock down my spine
The 1st person that my eyes search for all the time
You’re the 1st person who made me forget what I just said
The 1st one to make me lie awake in my bed
You’re the very 1st person I have ever loved
Still, you’re the 1st pterson who broke my heart.
The 1st one who paired my tear with a laugh
You’re the 1st person who caused my tears to blush
The very 1st one who caused my adrenaline rush
You’re the very 1st reason of my long blank stares
The very 1st reason of my smiles in midair
The 1st trigger of the electric shock down my spine
The 1st person that my eyes search for all the time
You’re the 1st person who made me forget what I just said
The 1st one to make me lie awake in my bed
You’re the very 1st person I have ever loved
Still, you’re the 1st pterson who broke my heart.
CSI
Napakadelikado talaga sa mundo ngayon. May mga salisi gang, budol-budol, laglag barya at marami pang iba. Sabi nga nila kahit saan mo raw ilagay ang mga bagay na mahalaga sa’yo, makukuha pa rin.
Nakukuha ng hindi mo man lang nalalaman, ng hindi mo namamalayan.
Minsan ang kumukuha pa ay iyong mga hindi mo inaakalang kukuha. At ang pinakamatindi pa sa lahat, yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo pa ang tumatraydor sa’yo.
Sabagay, kahit saan mo nga naman itago ang isang bagay, makukuha at makukuha pa rin yan, kahit nga mga safety deposit boxes at gigantic vaults ng mga bangko nananakawan eh.
Haay, things are really not meant to be with you forever. They just have to go.
Pero bakit ganoon, hindi ka naman thing di ba?
Bakit yakap na kita na-snatch ka pa?!
Nakukuha ng hindi mo man lang nalalaman, ng hindi mo namamalayan.
Minsan ang kumukuha pa ay iyong mga hindi mo inaakalang kukuha. At ang pinakamatindi pa sa lahat, yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo pa ang tumatraydor sa’yo.
Sabagay, kahit saan mo nga naman itago ang isang bagay, makukuha at makukuha pa rin yan, kahit nga mga safety deposit boxes at gigantic vaults ng mga bangko nananakawan eh.
Haay, things are really not meant to be with you forever. They just have to go.
Pero bakit ganoon, hindi ka naman thing di ba?
Bakit yakap na kita na-snatch ka pa?!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
15 minutes
“Alam mo gusto ko mahal kita. Kasi ang bait mo, lagi mo akong binibigyan ng lollipop. Tapos sabay pa birthday natin. Ikaw ba gusto mo bang mahal mo ako?”
“Ano ba yun?”
“Basta.”
“O, sige”
“ Kaya lang sabi ng nanay ko yung mahal daw kapag malaki na tayo saka lang pwede”
“Paano na yun?”
“e di pag malaki na tayo”
“Kailan ba yung malaki na tayo?”
“Sabi ng nanay ko pag naka-21 na birthday na raw ako, malaki na ako. Ikaw, nakailang birthday ka na ba?”
“Six pa lang eh”
“Ako rin”
“Matagal pa pala”
Hindi ko makakalimutan ang usapan nating ‘yun kahit grade 1 pa lang tayo. Pati na rin nung JS natin nung 4th year. Nagulat ako sa sinabi mo noong nagsasayaw tayo:
“Nakailan ka na?”
“Ha?”
“Nakalimutan mo na ba?”
“Hindi noh. Naka-17 na ako. Ikaw ba?”
“Loka. E di 17 din. Magka-birthday kaya tayo.”
“Oo nga ano.ahahaha”
“Basta pag naka-21 na tayo, magkikita tayo sa chapel ng eksaktong 8 ng gabi. Pag wala tayo doon ng saktong 8 ibig sabihin may mahal na tayong iba”
“Ok. Usapan yan”
Hindi ko talaga nalimutan yun. Naka-21 na ako kaya ako nandito. Tututpad ako sa pangako dahil ikaw lang ang mahal ko. Pero bakit ganoon, nak-21 ka na rin di ba? Bakit wala ka pa? May mahal ka na bang iba?
1 minuto na lang 8 na. Wala ka pa rin.
10 seconds na lang. Hindi ka pa dumarating.
5… 4…3…2…1.
8 na sa relo ko. Wala ka pa rin. Wala ka na. Wala na.
Ang sakit.
Umaasa ako.
Ang sakit.
All these years ikaw lang ang mahal ko.
Ang sakit.
4 years lang tayong hindi nagkita may iba ka na.
Uuwi na lang ako. Itutulog ko na alng ito. Dyan lang ang bahay naming pero nag-jeep ako. Hindi ko kayang maglakad. Hindi ko na maalala kung nagbayad ba ako. Dumapa ako sa sofa namin.
I feel so hurt.
I feel so broken.
I feel so…OH MY GOD!!!!SHOCKS ANG TANGA KO!!
Nagmamadali akong tumakbo papuntang chapel. Nakapambahay ppa akong tsinelas. Gulo-gulo ang buhok ko. Pero nandoon ka. Naiyak ako sa tuwa. Niyakap mo ako at tinanong:
Dumating naman ako di ba?Bakit ka umiiyak?
Wala akong nasabi kundi:
15 minutes advanced kasi ang relo ko.
“Ano ba yun?”
“Basta.”
“O, sige”
“ Kaya lang sabi ng nanay ko yung mahal daw kapag malaki na tayo saka lang pwede”
“Paano na yun?”
“e di pag malaki na tayo”
“Kailan ba yung malaki na tayo?”
“Sabi ng nanay ko pag naka-21 na birthday na raw ako, malaki na ako. Ikaw, nakailang birthday ka na ba?”
“Six pa lang eh”
“Ako rin”
“Matagal pa pala”
Hindi ko makakalimutan ang usapan nating ‘yun kahit grade 1 pa lang tayo. Pati na rin nung JS natin nung 4th year. Nagulat ako sa sinabi mo noong nagsasayaw tayo:
“Nakailan ka na?”
“Ha?”
“Nakalimutan mo na ba?”
“Hindi noh. Naka-17 na ako. Ikaw ba?”
“Loka. E di 17 din. Magka-birthday kaya tayo.”
“Oo nga ano.ahahaha”
“Basta pag naka-21 na tayo, magkikita tayo sa chapel ng eksaktong 8 ng gabi. Pag wala tayo doon ng saktong 8 ibig sabihin may mahal na tayong iba”
“Ok. Usapan yan”
Hindi ko talaga nalimutan yun. Naka-21 na ako kaya ako nandito. Tututpad ako sa pangako dahil ikaw lang ang mahal ko. Pero bakit ganoon, nak-21 ka na rin di ba? Bakit wala ka pa? May mahal ka na bang iba?
1 minuto na lang 8 na. Wala ka pa rin.
10 seconds na lang. Hindi ka pa dumarating.
5… 4…3…2…1.
8 na sa relo ko. Wala ka pa rin. Wala ka na. Wala na.
Ang sakit.
Umaasa ako.
Ang sakit.
All these years ikaw lang ang mahal ko.
Ang sakit.
4 years lang tayong hindi nagkita may iba ka na.
Uuwi na lang ako. Itutulog ko na alng ito. Dyan lang ang bahay naming pero nag-jeep ako. Hindi ko kayang maglakad. Hindi ko na maalala kung nagbayad ba ako. Dumapa ako sa sofa namin.
I feel so hurt.
I feel so broken.
I feel so…OH MY GOD!!!!SHOCKS ANG TANGA KO!!
Nagmamadali akong tumakbo papuntang chapel. Nakapambahay ppa akong tsinelas. Gulo-gulo ang buhok ko. Pero nandoon ka. Naiyak ako sa tuwa. Niyakap mo ako at tinanong:
Dumating naman ako di ba?Bakit ka umiiyak?
Wala akong nasabi kundi:
15 minutes advanced kasi ang relo ko.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Sa mga takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya
Sumakay ako sa Toki nung isang araw. Pag baba ko nalungkot ako or rather nainis ako. Nakakainis talaga pag may nakasakay kang mga taong takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya.
Iba-iba pa ang istilo ng mga yan. May mga lingon to the max kunwari'y hindi napapansin ang inaabot na barya. Kahit mapaos ka pa sa kakasabi ng "Makikiabot po ng bayad" ay wala kang mapapala. Mayroon namang sleeping beauty ang drama. Tulog kunwari. Di bale ng mauntog 'wag lang makagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya. Kawawang barya. At ang pinakamatindi sa lahat ng matindi ay ang mga taong tinitingnan lang ang inaabot mong barya na para bang sinasabi "Fly barya. Fly!"
Paano kung lahat ng tao ay matakot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya? Paano kung bawat sakay mo ng jeep ay kailangan mo pang lumapit sa driver (habang nakatuwad) para iabot ang bayad mo? Hindi kaya magka-scoliosis lahat ng tao?
Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung aabutin natin ang bayad ng iba at makakarinig pa ng "salamat" na may bonus pang smile? Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung sa pag-abot natin ng ating bayad ay may nakahandang umabot nito?Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung lahat tayo ay hindi takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya??
Iba-iba pa ang istilo ng mga yan. May mga lingon to the max kunwari'y hindi napapansin ang inaabot na barya. Kahit mapaos ka pa sa kakasabi ng "Makikiabot po ng bayad" ay wala kang mapapala. Mayroon namang sleeping beauty ang drama. Tulog kunwari. Di bale ng mauntog 'wag lang makagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya. Kawawang barya. At ang pinakamatindi sa lahat ng matindi ay ang mga taong tinitingnan lang ang inaabot mong barya na para bang sinasabi "Fly barya. Fly!"
Paano kung lahat ng tao ay matakot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya? Paano kung bawat sakay mo ng jeep ay kailangan mo pang lumapit sa driver (habang nakatuwad) para iabot ang bayad mo? Hindi kaya magka-scoliosis lahat ng tao?
Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung aabutin natin ang bayad ng iba at makakarinig pa ng "salamat" na may bonus pang smile? Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung sa pag-abot natin ng ating bayad ay may nakahandang umabot nito?Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung lahat tayo ay hindi takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya??
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Eh
e kung kaibigan lang tingin niya sa akin e
e hindi nga niya ako tinitingnan e
e kung iba talaga ang gusto niya e
e kung iba is not an element of ako e
e kung hindi siya interesado sa akin e
e kung hindi niya nakikita ang tunay na ako e
e kung makita man niya, ayaw rin niya e
e kung talagang hindi niya malimutan yung isa e
e kung hindi niya alam na gusto ko siya e
e kahit malamn niya wala naman siyang pakialam e
e kung umasa man ako wala ring mangyayari e
e naninigas na ang dila ko sa ka-e-e e
kaya sabi nga sa "Libre"
"e kung hindi ikaw ang laman ng puso niya e"
ANONG MAGAGAWA MO?
e hindi nga niya ako tinitingnan e
e kung iba talaga ang gusto niya e
e kung iba is not an element of ako e
e kung hindi siya interesado sa akin e
e kung hindi niya nakikita ang tunay na ako e
e kung makita man niya, ayaw rin niya e
e kung talagang hindi niya malimutan yung isa e
e kung hindi niya alam na gusto ko siya e
e kahit malamn niya wala naman siyang pakialam e
e kung umasa man ako wala ring mangyayari e
e naninigas na ang dila ko sa ka-e-e e
kaya sabi nga sa "Libre"
"e kung hindi ikaw ang laman ng puso niya e"
ANONG MAGAGAWA MO?
goodbye Little Miss Vain
hindi talaga ako bibo
hindi rin ata ako tao
I really want to please everybody. I find enjoyment and thrill in that. But as I grow older, I began to see that you REALLY can't please everybody without displeasing yourself.
It came up to me like a child realizing that the world isn't just about sugar, spice and everthing nice. Of course, I felt hurt. All my life I believ ed I can please everybody. Yes, you can call me Little Miss Vain.
But it looks like Little Miss Vain has to give up her vanity because she just can't please evreybody. I just can't please everybody.
hindi ako katulad mo
hindi ko kaya ang mga ginagawa mo
masakit sa akin na hindi ka masiyahan
pero higt akong masasaktan
kung mawawalan ako ng sariling katauhan
kaya...
GOODBYE LITTLE MISS VAIN
hindi rin ata ako tao
I really want to please everybody. I find enjoyment and thrill in that. But as I grow older, I began to see that you REALLY can't please everybody without displeasing yourself.
It came up to me like a child realizing that the world isn't just about sugar, spice and everthing nice. Of course, I felt hurt. All my life I believ ed I can please everybody. Yes, you can call me Little Miss Vain.
But it looks like Little Miss Vain has to give up her vanity because she just can't please evreybody. I just can't please everybody.
hindi ako katulad mo
hindi ko kaya ang mga ginagawa mo
masakit sa akin na hindi ka masiyahan
pero higt akong masasaktan
kung mawawalan ako ng sariling katauhan
kaya...
GOODBYE LITTLE MISS VAIN
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Thank you, GOD
I was standing there one afternoon. My chest was heavy with unreleased sighs. My eyes were sore with held-back tears.
I bid goodbye to Little Miss Vain that afternoon and I could do nothing but hide my pain. I was so afraid. I have lived my life with her in me. Now, I'm afraid to take another step without her. I still felt her remnants in me and that made it much harder. I felt so lost.
Thank you God for sending an angel who reminded me that you are always there for me.
I realized how dumb I was. You were right in front of me yet I searched for others to wipe away my fears.
As I come into your presence, tears trickled down my cheeks. I was like a wounded child running to her father, telling him who caused those wounds.
Then you told me
I bid goodbye to Little Miss Vain that afternoon and I could do nothing but hide my pain. I was so afraid. I have lived my life with her in me. Now, I'm afraid to take another step without her. I still felt her remnants in me and that made it much harder. I felt so lost.
Thank you God for sending an angel who reminded me that you are always there for me.
I realized how dumb I was. You were right in front of me yet I searched for others to wipe away my fears.
As I come into your presence, tears trickled down my cheeks. I was like a wounded child running to her father, telling him who caused those wounds.
Then you told me
" When fears weaken your knees, when you can't take it anymore, turn to me. I will not wipe away your fears but I will help you keep your knees from falling apart"
Those were the exact words I needed to hear. I felt a lot better.
I have not gotten over Little Miss Vain. I can still feel her inside me. Please make me strong enought to get over her. Thank you Lord. Thank you God. Thank you, Father.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Nothing
What a long day
Now I'm sitting with dismay
I lost my book, my life in between its pages
I lost myself in a sea of a thousand faces
I feel so exhausted
I want to cry
I feel deserted
But i don't want to die, not yet
I want to cry
But I don't want to show them
I want to cry
But I don't want my eyes swollen
I want to scream
But I don't want anybody to hear
I want to scream
I hope nobody would care
I feel so melancholic
I feel so down
I feel so...
(let's end this)
NOTHING
Now I'm sitting with dismay
I lost my book, my life in between its pages
I lost myself in a sea of a thousand faces
I feel so exhausted
I want to cry
I feel deserted
But i don't want to die, not yet
I want to cry
But I don't want to show them
I want to cry
But I don't want my eyes swollen
I want to scream
But I don't want anybody to hear
I want to scream
I hope nobody would care
I feel so melancholic
I feel so down
I feel so...
(let's end this)
NOTHING
Monday, June 18, 2007
MRT
You are at Quezon Avenue Station. Quezon Avenue Station. Thank you for patronizing the Metrostar Express.
Parati akong nakaupo dito. Paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses na yan. Minsan nga naisip ko, "sino kaya ang nagsasalitang yun?" Laging ito ang iniisip ko bago ko siya nakita. Oo, yung babaeng magulo ang buhok, mukhang pagod na pagod at laging nagmamadali. Madalas ko siyang nakikitang isinasaksak ang stord valu ticket sa machine tapos bumababa sa hagdan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa libu-libong taong dumadaan siya lang ang napapansin ko. At sa tuwing makikita ko siya, laging ganun ang ginagawa niya. Paulit-ulit.
Pero iba ngayong gabi. Oo, isinaksak niya yung stored value ticket niya pero hindi siya bumababa sa hagdan kundi, tumaas siya sa hagdang kinauupuan ko. Umupo siya ilang hakbang mula sa akin. Tinakpan niya ang mukha niya ng kanyang mga kamay at umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Kinuha ko yung panyo kong puti pero gray na ito ngayon kaya hindi ko maiaalok sa kanya. Hindi ko naman matiis na hindi siya lapitan kaya umupo ako sa tabi niya.
Parati akong nakaupo dito. Paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses na yan. Minsan nga naisip ko, "sino kaya ang nagsasalitang yun?" Laging ito ang iniisip ko bago ko siya nakita. Oo, yung babaeng magulo ang buhok, mukhang pagod na pagod at laging nagmamadali. Madalas ko siyang nakikitang isinasaksak ang stord valu ticket sa machine tapos bumababa sa hagdan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa libu-libong taong dumadaan siya lang ang napapansin ko. At sa tuwing makikita ko siya, laging ganun ang ginagawa niya. Paulit-ulit.
Pero iba ngayong gabi. Oo, isinaksak niya yung stored value ticket niya pero hindi siya bumababa sa hagdan kundi, tumaas siya sa hagdang kinauupuan ko. Umupo siya ilang hakbang mula sa akin. Tinakpan niya ang mukha niya ng kanyang mga kamay at umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Kinuha ko yung panyo kong puti pero gray na ito ngayon kaya hindi ko maiaalok sa kanya. Hindi ko naman matiis na hindi siya lapitan kaya umupo ako sa tabi niya.
"Bakit ka umiiyak?" tinanong ko siya.
"Ang bilis-bilis kasi ng mundo, naiwan tuloy ako"
"Ako rin nga naiwan eh. Ang tagal ko na nga rito"
Nang sabihin ko yun, tumingin lang siya sa akin. kItang-kita ko sa mga mata niya na malungkot talaga siya kaya sinabi ko sa kanya
"Gusto mo habulin natin. Hindi naman kasi talaga bumibilis ang mundo. Tayo ang bumabagal."
Sa wakas ngumiti siya. Tumayo kai at bumaba sa hagdan. sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon masasabi kong may magandang nangyari sa pag-upo ko sa hagdanan sa may MRT.
Kaya, sa'yo mundo, humanda ka dahil makakahabol din kami sa'yo. At sa babaeng magulo ang buhok atn mukhang pagod na pagod, kumapit ka lang makakahabol din tayo. Oo, makakahabol tayo.
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