A Promise to Myself

I should have been studying for 2 exams the day after tomorrow but you keep on coming in and out of my mind.

I just have to write it all down.

"i bet she's beautiful that girl he talks about

And she's got everything that i have to live without..."

never thought i'd be singing that to myself for the second time.

The sign pointed to you but I guess your sign's pointing to somebody else.

the whole point of writing this is that i don't understand why despite tons of things i have to do (i don't even have time to eat 3 meals a day!!), thoughts of you still find time to bother me and to make me sad. You're way down the priority list but you can inch your way up at times. or is it just me putting you on top of that list?

"it sucks to see him out there falling in and out of love with girls that aren't me"

I don't know if i read the sign wrong or if it is really you.

And i think i won't know for the next few days or maybe months or maybe years.

So i don't want to burden myself with heartaches when the cure of which will come only in years time.

I don't want to be hurt like that again. Imagine 2 years of hurting.

I don't want to feel melancholic every time i think of you.

I want to remember that wonderful feeling: butterflies in my tummy, wide smiles from ear to ear and that exciting nervousness every time you come near.

That is why i'm promising to myself that i will just admire you from a distance (not coming near at all because I just might be swept away) and be good at what i do because i think it's my number 1 priority now. and maybe, once i achieved that, i can cross it out and delete it from the list so you will inch up. And when i have done everything i have to do, i won't let you go anymore.

I promise never to cram again if i can help it!!

bew! study!!

Sorry, you're way down the priority list

Panibagong yugto sa aking buhay.
kaya ko ba ito?
dapat bang itinatanong ko sa sarili ko ito?
hindi ba given na yun?
tumilaok na yung manok from somewhere
but i'm still up.
it's 3:06 am.
i can't sleep. hindi dahil iniisip kita,
kundi dahil may exam ako sa sabado.
humingi ako ng sign kay Lord at ikaw yung itinuro niya sa akin nung naghanap ako ng taong mamahalin ako at mamahalin ako.
but it seems pinapreview lang ni Lord.

You're nowhere near and we're nowhere near to being something more than an acquaintance?

did i read the sign wrong?

hmmmm...

but does it matter?

hindi ata.

maybe you're the one for me but hey, as of now, you're still way down the priority list.