sadface

everything i wished for not to happen, happened.
what is wrong.
i feel so sad.
everything's not going my way.
what do i do?

i road the tricycle going home with these depressing thoughts in mind.
then these 2 women sat with me.
they started conversing about a column called "Young blood" with an entry entitled "Beer with Jesus"
Then the lady nearest to me gave the gist of the column. She said that the column talked about how we always pursue our dreams, our wants, never really caring what Jesus' dreams are for us.

might be coincidence. but i suddenly paused.
are things not going my way because this is not what God wants for me?
what does He want then?
how am i supposed to know?

5 months to go...

5 months to go, graduation ko na.
ang dami ng nagtatanong kung saan ko nga ba balak magtrabaho. sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam. ayoko pang isipin. gusto ko munang sulitin ang huling mga buwan ng pagiging estudyante, ng pagiging personnel chair :) i have all the time to think about the future but i have only now to think about the present. time flies so fast so i plan to fly with it. ayokong may pagsisihan kaya, pagbubutihin ko. :)

5 months to go, graduation ko na
5 months to go, hindi ko na kailangan magsuot ng student id
5 months to go, wala na akong student discount
5 months to go, lalaya na ako sa isang pangakong binitiwan ko nung grade 1 pa lang ako

how does it feel to be free? how does it feel to hold back nothing? how does it feel to let my feelings flow?
we'll know in 5 months :)

Release Negativity

I know my time is up.

There is a huge difference between "There's a rainbow always after the rain" and "There's always rain before the rainbow".

Sana wag mo naman akong paasahing hindi mo na ako paasahin.

Ang masakit sa pangako, umaasa ka.

You can't always have what you want. Kung ayaw mo ng ganun e di dun ka sa Mars.

Andiyan pero parang wala naman.

Wag mo namang ipamuka saking mali ako dahil pinaglaban kita.

I need you.

Hobby mo bang wag ako replyan?

Is it all in my mind?

WANTED: taong pwedeng maging PLANNER ng buhay ko.

The worst thing about crying is when I start, I just can't stop.

Sana pwede kong sabihin sayong "ikaw,oo,ikaw ang magpapasaya sakin"

I miss home.

hingang malalim

alam mo yung naiinis peero nangingiti, ako yun eh! as in RAWR! RAWR! RAWR!

gusto kong sumigaw, sumigaw, sumigaw, SUMIGAW!

gusto kong magpagulong-gulong, gulong, gulong, GULONG!

hindi ko maintindihan kung anong nararamdaman ko basta ang alam ko lang hindi ako masaya. hindi na ako masaya.

nalulungkot ako....

nalulungkot ako kasi ang komplikado na ng lahat ngayon.

para akong may bola na dati ako lang ang naglalaro pero ngayon marami ng kasali. nung una masaya pero ngayon.....
nagugulat na lang ako, may biglang magpapasa sayo ng di man lang nagsasabi. hindi ko tuloy masalo ng maayos.
hindi ko alam kung kelan ko pa mahahawakan yun ulit. yung ako lang.

call it selfish but some things are better kept to myself only.

pero nangyari na ang mga nangyari
nasabi na ang lahat ng mga nasabi
wala na akong magagawa kundi sabihin sa sarili ko na "ngiti lang. maayos din yan. ngiti lang"

if it were supposed to feel good, they wouldn't call it crush- Jahan

dati hindi ko naiintindihan ang ibig sabihin ng quote na yan pero dati yun. ngayon, intinding-intindi ko na. sigh.