Tea Bag. Tea Back?

A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Am I in hot water?

Is this my hot water?

I'm so tired.

I feel so tired.

I feel so tired of feeling inadequate

I feel so tired of being unappreciated

I feel so tired of being backstabbed

I feel so tired of those pitiful looks

I feel so tired of deadlines

I feel so tired of feeling so tired.

Is this my hot water?

What am I doing?

Am I giving up?

Am I giving in?

Am I not strong enough?

Well, even teabags have their limit.

Once you've exhausted its essence, no matter how hot the water you put in, it will taste like nothing.

Am I at my limit?

Is this still worth pushing my limit?

Is this still worth it?

Are you still worth it?

I want to tell the person who wrote this this:

If every person who ever got depressed, failed, stressed, pressured and cried gave up, there wouldn't be any Thomas Edison, Michael Jordan or even Steve Jobs.

If all diamonds cracked at the pressure of being carved, there wouldn't be any pretty engagement rings to offer during proposals.

If all mommy dogs shunned the pain of giving birth, there wouldn't be any cute puppies to cuddle.

If all the people who got their hearts broken never loved again, the world would be in a grand state of chaos.

We all have our own pains given according to how much we can take, plus a little bit more so that we can improve.

Pain is good. Pain justifies that you are still alive. Pain justifies that you have the opportunity to feel joy and love.

So, to you, stop all these negativities. Half of it is your own doing. Make things happen. Make good things happen. Never lose sight of your priorities. Enjoy the pain. Joy will come soon after. Aja Myka!

huli ka!

alas dos ng umaga buhay na buhay pa
kay daming gagawin pag gising na sila
walang kausap, walang kasama
lumilipad ang isip patungong EDSA

biglang nahuli ko na lang ang sarili ko
humihiling, sumasamo
sana andito ka sa tabi ko
sana nakikita ko ang puyat na ngiti mo

ito yung mga panahong hinhiniling kong sana nandito ka
sana hindi naging komplikado ang mundong ginagalawan nating dalawa
sana kayang ayusin ng mundo ang mga problema niya
para may oras tayo sa isa't-isa

sana ngayon ikaw ang kapeng pampagising ko
sana tumatawa ako ng mag-isa sa mga hirit mo
sana madali kong natatapos ang gawain ko
kasi sa totoo lang, inspirado ako

ito yung mga panahong sana kasama kita
sana malapit ka kahit malayo naman talaga
sana wala tayong  mga problema
basta ikaw lang si .... at ako lang si Myka

inaamin kong di ko na dapat naiisip ito
kasi pinalaya ko na ang sarili ko sayo
pero maitatanggi ko ba ang totoo
na sa oras na ito, ikaw lang ang kailangan ko?

migraine

i promised myself to stop figuring you out. but here i am. everytime i sit down with myself, i think about you. not about my endless list of things to do, not about my overstretched budget, not about world peace or child abuse. No. i think about you. i once said that figuring you out is the worst way to waste my time. too bad i got used to not listening to myself. so here i am. sitting in a flattened carton box at 12:52 AM thinking about you, thinking about who i am to you, thinking about where i stand in your life. is it a sin for a woman to want security and assurance? No. of course not. but refusing to accept the truth that's been slapped to your face is. i can't stop wanting you. i can't stop imagining you and me and us. i can't stop imagining the fun we could have if we're together. i can't stop rehearsing words i want to tell you when time and opportunity permits. i've been here before. and i've been hurt. why do i not learn from my mistakes? maybe because, until now, i don't want to accept that it was just a mistake. how can a mistake feel that good?

but please don't get me wrong. i am not madly in love. i am just.....madly into love. maybe it's because of the season.or maybe it is you or is it just me? haha.

missing you

i was doing ok. had almost no sleep at all. but at these times that's normal. but then i saw you. sadness pained my heart almost at the same instant that i saw you smile. i remembered how much i miss you. i remembered the days and nights of looking at places where you might be. i remembered all the draft messages i composed but never sent. the fact that you're drifting away is pain and not even knowing why is torture. The sight of you once sent chills to my spine now it sends chills to my heart. What has become of us? the butterflies in my tummy flew away leaving only sadness and confusion. i remember those long talks we used to have. and everytime i do, i am left with questions. was it real? was it what i thought it is? why did it happen? why is it not happening now? and the most painful question: will it ever happen again?

i wanted to say i miss you but i know better.

ano bang nangyari?

ano nga bang nangyari sa atin?

bakit tayo dumating sa puntong ito?

hindi ba't nangako tayo sa isa't-isa?

kaya basta sama-sama?

mula simula hanggang dulo?

we had the best visions and we know that together we can make them come true.

how can we make them come true now when there's no more 'together' no more 'we' just 'you and 'me'

we vowed not to be like them but here we are even worse than the one we avoided.

wala akong maisip kundi itanong : "anong nangyari?"

akala ko kasi ok na ang lahat satin at naniwala akong maayos natin to kasi tayo to.

pero asan na yung 'tayo'? nalulungkot ako. ano nga ba ang tama?

ano nga ba ang nakabubuti sa nakararami?

hindi ko maisip ang bukas ng wala ka.

magkasama kasi tayo dito.

sinimulan kasi natin to.

bakit ngayon ako na lang ang tatapos?

kaya ko ba na wala ka?

anong mangyayari?

paano?

hindi na ba maayos to?

wala na ba tayong pag-asa?

ano ba kasing nangyari?

ano bang nangyari?