missing you

i was doing ok. had almost no sleep at all. but at these times that's normal. but then i saw you. sadness pained my heart almost at the same instant that i saw you smile. i remembered how much i miss you. i remembered the days and nights of looking at places where you might be. i remembered all the draft messages i composed but never sent. the fact that you're drifting away is pain and not even knowing why is torture. The sight of you once sent chills to my spine now it sends chills to my heart. What has become of us? the butterflies in my tummy flew away leaving only sadness and confusion. i remember those long talks we used to have. and everytime i do, i am left with questions. was it real? was it what i thought it is? why did it happen? why is it not happening now? and the most painful question: will it ever happen again?

i wanted to say i miss you but i know better.