Taste It Tuesday: Homemade Milk Tea

It is that limbo once again between the summer and rainy season. It rains sporadically making the weather hotter and more humid. Ugh!

What better way to beat this moody weather than a tall glass of cold milk tea!

But a P150 price tag makes it a little less enticing. So, I decided to make my own.


Here's the process I used: (it's fairly easy!)

1. In a pan, boil 1/2 cup of water with 2 teabags. I used Lipton Peppermint Herbal Infusion. Add 1 tablespoon of sugar to taste.
2. Once it came to a boil, pour it to a tall glass half full with water.
3. Add another 1/2 cup to the pan with the teabags and heat until boiling. This is to ensure that you have extracted all the infusion.
4. Pour it to the glass and add ice cubes. You can also put in inside the freezer for a few minutes to make sure it is extra cold.

Here is my final product:



Paired with pork adobo and 2 cups of rice, perfect dinner!

Maybe I can experiment with flavors too using flavored teas! Oh, oh and I can also try making my own pearls!

Definitely excited for the next Taste It Tuesday!

Mani Monday: Italian Nude

It's Mani Monday once again!
I found a nail polish from Klik named Italian Nude. Do Italians really turn this pink when they are nude? Haha.

I decided to pair with an equally sexy color, Caronia Black Satin with a dot of SanSan Pink.

I came up with this design:


Writing this now, I realized it looked like a gothic Santa hat. Haha.

For my toes, I didn't want to be all matchy-matchy but I used the same color scheme. My toes are teeny tiny. Taping was a bit difficult but a success nonetheless.
Here is the result:

My toes look like piggies. Haha. But I'm proud of them. They look like baby toes. Haha

Yay for another Mani Monday!

Wordy Wednesday: Slow Motion Drowning

Water up to my throat
Threatening my quivering breaths
Climbing my skin in creepy slow motion
I'm drowning
I'm drowning in slow motion
My legs flail helplessly to gain ground
My arms scream loudly with no sound
My eyes have given up
Raining tears in a suicide attempt
And I ask myself:
Why did I drown myself in this ocean?
If I am the willing victim, who is this damsel whining?
Are the waves worth the cliff jump?
Are you still worth the drowning?
Are you still worth the slow motion drowning?

Glazed Pork With Carabao Mangoes

It was one of those evenings when I want something other than plain fried pork or pork adobo. I did a quick search and was inspired by the Glazed Pork Recipe of Budget Bytes.

It looked fairly easy to make. The pork we have on hand was thinly cut so there is no need for an oven. I revised it a bit to add onions and carabao mangoes.

Here's my version:


Ingredients:
-4 pieces of thinly sliced pork
-1 tablespoon of sugar
-salt and pepper
-oil
- 1 small onion
-carabao mangoes for the side dish (I had this sudden inspiration while peeling the carabao mangoes intended to be eaten separately)

Procedure

1. Wash the pork pieces and dry them with paper towel (Don't skip drying. I'll explain later).

2. Rub the pieces with salt, pepper and sugar.

3. Leave it for a few minutes while heating the oil.

4. When your oil is hot enough ( my quick test is to place your hand a foot above the pan, if you feel the heat from there, it is hot enough), fry the onions until they become soft and translucent.

5. Place your pieces on the pan. Because I did not dry my chops, the sugar I rubbed in dissolved. So I poured the dissolved sugar to the pan as well and left it uncovered to allow the water to evaporate.

6.To pass the time while waiting for it to boil, I peeled the carabao mangoes I was going to eat after dinner and had a sudden inspiration of including it to the dish. So I sliced it into strips and added it to the boiling mixture.

7. Turn the chops to the other side. When the water evaporated, the sugar and onion will caramelize. You will see it sticking to the pan. So whenever you turn the chops, be sure to rub it to the sides so that the glaze will stick to the pork.

8. After about 5 minutes of frying on each side, you are now ready to serve!

The pork turned out nice, sweet and tender and the mango gave its flavor a surprise kick.

Perfect for those summer craving nights!

Stove Top Pizza With Stale Bread Base

I was craving for pizza yesterday but it wasn't in my budget for the week. So, I realized why not make my own?

I have stale bread, tomato sauce, pineapples from the fruit snack, cheese and hotdog.

I figured, I'll just make the conventional loaf pizza. But after minutes of googling, I found this site.

She used stale bread as base for her pizza. She first broke it into little pieces, added milk and water, mashed it and pressed it to a pan. She then placed her favorite toppings and cooked it inside the oven.

It was a great unconventional idea compared to ordinary loaf pizza. And I have all the ingredients right here in our kitchen.

My next problem was I do not have any form of oven, just the stove and a rice cooker. Mr. Google did not fail to give me a solution to this one too! I found this incredible site listing several methods of cooking pizza without an oven.

So, here's the fusion of the two ideas.

Stove Top Pizza With Stale Bread Base

Ingredients: -6 slices of loaf bread
-100 ml evaporated milk
-1 cup water
-1 egg (I figured I need the egg so the bread would stick to each other when cooked in the pan)
-oil (for greasing the pan before putting the bread mixture)
-tomato sauce or pizza sauce
-your favorite toppings

Tools needed:
-large bowl where the bread will be mashed
-stove
-pan with lid

Instructions:
1. Break the bread to pieces



2. Pour in the milk and water. Do this gradually while mashing the bread. You know you got it right when you have a mashed potato consistency.



3. Grease the pan and press the bread mixture to it. It will slide around at first because of the oil but once you fill the whole pan, it will stay still.

4. Brush the top with tomato sauce and place your favorite toppings (splurge time. Haha)

5. Cover and pan and cook in low heat for 5 minutes or until the cheese melts.

6. Once done, scrape the sides of the pan and slowly lift the pizza off. Don't worry if the underside is a little burnt. I think it's because of the milk so it will still taste fine.


Sorry I dived right in without taking a picture of the whole thing first. Haha.


As you can see, I like my crust thin. It is very soft but not sogging with oil. It tasted great. I'll be sure to experiment with other toppings soon.

huli ka!

alas dos ng umaga buhay na buhay pa
kay daming gagawin pag gising na sila
walang kausap, walang kasama
lumilipad ang isip patungong EDSA

biglang nahuli ko na lang ang sarili ko
humihiling, sumasamo
sana andito ka sa tabi ko
sana nakikita ko ang puyat na ngiti mo

ito yung mga panahong hinhiniling kong sana nandito ka
sana hindi naging komplikado ang mundong ginagalawan nating dalawa
sana kayang ayusin ng mundo ang mga problema niya
para may oras tayo sa isa't-isa

sana ngayon ikaw ang kapeng pampagising ko
sana tumatawa ako ng mag-isa sa mga hirit mo
sana madali kong natatapos ang gawain ko
kasi sa totoo lang, inspirado ako

ito yung mga panahong sana kasama kita
sana malapit ka kahit malayo naman talaga
sana wala tayong  mga problema
basta ikaw lang si .... at ako lang si Myka

inaamin kong di ko na dapat naiisip ito
kasi pinalaya ko na ang sarili ko sayo
pero maitatanggi ko ba ang totoo
na sa oras na ito, ikaw lang ang kailangan ko?

Untitled muna

"Tayo na!"
"Tayo na?"
"Oo, unless gusto mo pang maghintay?"
"Joke lang yun! Oh my God! I can't believe tayo na!"

Yan ang storya kung paano naging kami ni Oliver. Actually, niyaya ko lang siyang umalis na kasi ang tagal dumating nung gustong bumili ng tickets para sa play. Nagulat na lang ako kasi niyakap niya ako at in 5 seconds, may boyfriend na ako.

Ilang buwan na ring nanliligaw sa akin si Oliver. Pero hindi ko siya sinasagot. Hindi dahil sa ayaw ko sa kanya kundi dahil hindi ko lang siya ganun ka-gusto para i-commit ang sarili ko. Kung ganon, bakit hindi ko itinama yung maling akala niya? Well, let's just say I want to give it a try. Paano ko malalaman kung hindi ko susubukan? Paano ko malalaman kung masarap kung hindi ko titikman?

**********************************Disclaimer-not yet finished***********************

Synonyms

Endless talks and conversations

Countless LOL’s and emoticons

Till the sun shines, smiles and welcomes

Till the clock starts throwing tantrums

The “online friendship” I call it

Synonym to bond closely knit

online friendships, too few are gold

Ours is here until we get old

Thoughts shared about boys, dudes and guys

About white and red colored lies

When my day smiles, laughs and giggles

Or when it cries, begs and cripples

“I know I can sure count on you”

Synonym to seeing me through

Twists and turns, step downs and step ups

You are my most gorgeous back-up

Advices, two cents’ worth’s, sermons

Given freshly squeezed like lemons

My birthyear though less than yours

I bow to you, students to mentors

Words to the wise sprayed by your lips

Is sunshine to my petal tips

Synonymous to buoyant love

Sisters at heart made from above

Here we are at the starting line

Far from the goal, but we’ll be fine

We are pencils to be sharpened

Chain links to be tested, strengthened

Friends till we are two hundred two

Or until the dogs start to moo

I am synonymous to you

You are synonymous to “ a friend that is true”

**** For  Gelli's 18 memories. First poem in a very long time.

move on!

No more racing heartbeats... No more shaking hands... No more late-night tears...

I am happy...happier perhaps.
The heaviness in my heart has been lifted
Now I feel good as new
Ready to see the world, ready to love again...

Hey, I still care for you...
I still want to hear from you...
I still think you're the best in everything...
I still am your # 1 fan besides your mother...

In fact, I still love you, I know I always will, but now with a love that does not need or want you to love me back, now with a love that understands that maybe we really are not meant to be, that there is someone else out there for me and someone even better for you.

I am no longer bitter, in fact, i feel better. Loving you taught me a lot of things from effective techniques to keep awake even in the we hours of the night, to ways of holding back teras. I may not be a better person now. My attitudes may have worsened but one thing's for sure, I am happy, and as of now, for me, that is enough.

I will never forget those days we shared
I will never forget that song that once brought tears to my eyes
And, i will never forget you because you're the reason why I was able to tell myself
"Shocks! Nainlove na ako! ibig sabihin, tao talaga ako...!..ahahaha"

alunmi homecoming

“God is with you. He must be, for you are the closest thing to an angel I’ve ever met.” Blag!!!
“The Notebook” by Nicholas Sparks, the one I was reading, fell to the floor. I dropped it because there, smiling in front of me, at the opposite side of the glass wall, was the man, the only man I had ever loved with all my heart. His smile made my world spin. For that brief moment, I was no longer at the National Bookstore, I was in heaven. Then, reality pulled me back.
I am not prepared to see him yet. This couldn’t be happening. This is not true! I closed my eyes tightly hoping his image would disappear. And when I opened my eyes, he was gone.
Good thing! It was just another one of my illusions.
Relief flooded my heart. At that moment, I stooped down to pick the book. But before I could reach it, a familiar hand picked it and handed it to me.
It is him again! Again, I closed my eyes. It’s just another illusion!
“Are you ok?” His voice told me it wasn’t an illusion. His voice brought back so many memories flashing right before my closed eyes, memories I thought I had forgotten. As I opened my eyes, I saw his smiling face.
His eyes, oh his eyes, still have that intense gaze. His hair is thinner. A few wrinkles can be seen here and there; an obvious sign of the ten years that passed since I last saw him. Yes, ten years have passed and still, I am not ready for this.
“Are you ok?” I must have stared at him for too long. I finally managed to talk.
“Umm...yes. I’m ok. What are you doing here?”
“Actually, I saw you getting off your car. I followed you but I lost you in the crowd. I figured that the first place you’d go to is the bookstore. Lucky guess huh?” he narrated animatedly. I still can’t believe he’s here.
“Well, yes lucky guess! Why did you….umm…..follow me?”
“Hmm. Well, not for any reason really. It’s just that it’s good to meet up with old friends, don’t you think?”
“Ah yes!” I was just a friend ever since.
“Can you accompany me to the supermarket? I just have to buy some groceries.” Then, suddenly, maybe unconsciously, he patted my shoulder. I was surprised. I had forgotten how that felt. I have forgotten that it felt really good. I could only look at him.
What is he doing here? Why did God let us meet?
“Sure.” I, finally, answered nervously. My heart was beating so loud I think he can hear it. The two of us said nothing until we went inside the supermarket.
The supermarket is huge. After he took a cart, we walked, now at a slower pace, towards the fruit section.
“How are you?” We laughed because we inquired at the same time.
“I am ok. I am now working as junior vice president in a certain company in Makati. I've worked there ever since I graduated. I was actually surprised with the promotion. I really didn't expect it,” I answered humbly.
“Well, I think you deserve such a promotion. You are a very smart woman, you know.” I blushed at his words. He didn't seem to notice because he continued talking, “As for me, I am the chief engineer of a construction firm. Some ask me why I chose construction work over office work. My only answer is that I want to work with something tangible, something which development relies on me. And at the end of the day, nothing is more fulfilling than seeing a family full of love being sheltered by the house you constructed.”
“We really are opposites” was all I could say. I was so moved by his words, by his love.
He laughed at my remark and said “Yes, ever since.”
But opposites attract!
I was so delighted by my thoughts I couldn't think of a smart response. He, too, seemed to be thinking about something. Silence enveloped us again.
I know he’s waiting for me to say something but I don’t know what to say or actually, how to say it. Exactly how do you tell the person you love that you love him even after ten years?
“Can I ask you something personal?” he asked, as if reading my thoughts. I nodded in response.
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Well, yes. I guess everyone has but it didn’t work out. It’s pretty much one-sided. Well, actually I never told him how I feel or even ask him if he feels the same way. I guess that’s the thing between boys and girls. Boys do the asking and girls do the answering.” I laughed at my remark but he stayed serious.
“Don’t you think it deserves a second chance?”
“Maybe not. How about you, do you believe in second chances?”
“Of course. Everybody deserves a second chance.”
“Even if, even if she’s hurt you so much?” I heard my voice crack.
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“Simply because I love her.” Now, he’s looking at me in the eyes. I could not mutter a response so I turned and feigned to examine the apples in the shelf.
He loves me! He loves me! He LOVES me!
I have to say something.
“How about you, have you ever been in love?” I asked without looking at him.
“Yes and like you, I never really told her. I felt so unworthy of her. And, being the kind of woman that she is, I think she wanted to finish her studies first. I don’t want to hinder that. ” I did not answer instead I examined a bottle of jam so he continued talking “Back then, she tried so hard to fit in. She never realized that people love her more when she’s just being herself. I love her more when she’s just being who she is.”
“And you never loved anyone else?”
“I’ve had a lot of attractions. But none of them really developed into a real relationship. Actually, I remember asking myself often why I never entered a relationship. Then, I realized that I want her to be my first and last, my one and only.” He said this so passionately that I can feel my tears coming again that I could not answer.
“How about you, do you have someone else besides that man you love?”
“I had a few infatuations but I end up comparing them to him. Eventually, I realized, that after all these years, he’s still the one I’m looking for.” Having said that was a relief. I never thought I could tell him that. He gazed at me for about three seconds, the longest three seconds of my life, and then my phone rang. It was Claire, my secretary.
“I’m sorry but I have to go. My secretary is calling, I guess, to remind me of my meeting. I have to go. Bye!” I turned around quickly to leave. I rejected my secretary’s call for some unknown reason and hurried off to the exit.
“Sarah!” Hearing him say my name made my knees grow weak.
“Yes?”
“Thank you! I’ll see you at the homecoming party tomorrow night. Bye!” I smiled weakly in response. As I turned around, panic enveloped me.
It is tomorrow night! I’m not ready yet! I pressed speed dial number five.
“Claire, cancel all my meetings for today and tomorrow. I have to prepare for something really important.” Something I’m sure will change my life forever.
I spent the rest of the day trying out clothes from store to store .The theme was prom night. I have had sad prom nights with him. On the first one, he left me, with jaw dropped open, on the dance floor. The next one, we never left the dance floor. He was dancing with another girl. I, the photographer, was obliged to take photos of the love of my life dancing to my favorite tune with the most beautiful girl in our batch. Ouch!
I hope this next one will be different. No, I’m sure this next one will be different.
The next day was my first time to spend a day at the salon. But I think it was worth it. When I left the salon, I felt beautiful. I drove to the venue, our university quadrangle, with Michael Murphy singing “Maybe this time” in the background.
“Maybe this time it'll be love that they'll find. Maybe now they can be more than just friends. She's back in his life and it feels so right. Maybe this time, love won't end.”
I could hardly recognize the university quadrangle as I got off my car. It was painted white and gone are the shoe marks on the wall. The stage was also equipped with lighting and a nice looking rostrum. It looked a lot better compared to the filthy stage with only one power outlet where we used to practice our play about a chapter in Noli Me Tangere. Everything had changed, including me.
I am no longer that silly high school girl who cannot mutter a “Hi” to her crush because tonight, yes, tonight, I’m going to tell him.
Then, a hand patted my back. As I turned around, I, again, saw that beautiful face which has decorated my dreams for ten long years.
“Hey, you look beautiful. Can I have this dance?” he invited with his irresistible smile. I took his hand wearing a smile that reached to my dangling pearl earrings.
“There’s something you should know.” We both eagerly said.
“Go ahead.” I whispered smiling.
This is it! He’s going to propose!
“I…” His words were interrupted by a rude ring from his phone. He answered it turning his back. When he finally faced me, my worst nightmare came.
“I’m sorry. It’s my daughter, Elaine. I think she’s having nightmares again. I’m sorry but I have to go. Bye!” He frantically uttered. I was shocked. I could only watch him leave the place.
My God! He did it again! He left me. And worse, he already have a daughter!
Next thing I know, I was sitting in a chair with a lot of people patting my back and offering handkerchiefs in all colors and patterns. But no pat or handkerchief can wipe away all my false hopes and shattered dreams. I thought it was impossible for a man to break a heart twice.
But for the nth time since yesterday, I thought wrong. My thoughts hurt me more. I could no longer contain it. I rushed to my car without even saying goodbye and beat every red light I came across. My heart was going to burst in pain. I could feel it. I stepped on the breaks as hard as I can. I don't know where I am but I actually don't care.
He has a daughter. He is married. I am so dumb!! Sarah, what made you think you are the woman he was referring to in his story yesterday?! You assumed too much! Now, you look silly! You made a fool out of yourself!” How can he hurt me like this?! First, he has child. Why did he not just tell me yesterday?! Is it just to hurt me? And, now, why does he have to leave me standing alone in that dance floor again!? Doesn’t he know that it hurts me? Doesn’t he know that I love him?
The answer donned on me as soon as I thought of the question. He didn’t know. He didn’t know because I never told him. I was the one to blame because I never told him the things he had to know.
I should not have hoped for a happy ending.
I covered my face with my hands. My heart was in so much pain I wish I could pull it out and throw it away. I closed my eyes and cried till I fell asleep.
I was woken by honks of a car. I straightened up and saw a car approaching from a distance. It stopped right in front of my car. A person hurriedly got off the car, opened my door and took me in his arms. I instantly recognized the warmth embrace. This was the embrace I have been longing for ever since I became a teenager. It was him.
“God! Where have you been? They told me you left the party crying! I have been searching for you all night!” He screamed at my ear. I wanted to hug him too but instead, I pushed him back.
“Go away! I don’t need you!” I screamed at him trying to break free from his guarding arms. Surprisingly, he let go. It hurt me more.
Doesn’t he really care?
“You really resemble my daughter. Those were the exact words she told me hours ago when I came for her. Oh! I'm sorry I had to leave you before we finished the dance. I just had to come to her.”
How can he say these things to me? My thoughts hurt me and brought more tears.
“To make up to you, can we continue our dance?” He suddenly whispered while holding out his right hand.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I cried in desperation.
“Ssshh… Please?” He whispered again.
He looked so calm and sincere. How can you resist a man like that? After all, nothing can more be painful than what I feel right now. He can’t possibly hurt me even more.
After convincing myself, I took his hand. Then he started to sing.
“The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful stop me and steal my breath...”
Why is it that even though he has hurt me so much, the sound of his voice seem to melt all the pain?

Wait! What am I thinking?! What am I doing!? Sarah! This guy has ripped your heart apart! Why are you dancing with him?! Don’t let him hurt you again! You must not be deceived! You must be firm!
“Stop it! Go away and stop hurting me! I don’t need you! I’m better off without you!” I pushed him back and started to run away.
I wish I could summon an airplane, fly and migrate to Greece!
But what he shouted caused me to halt my expedition to Greece.
“Wow. This is really amazing! Those were the exact words she shouted at me the day I came to fetch her from the orphanage” My jaw dropped again as I faced him.
What did he just said?
I froze. I could no longer feel my body. All I can hear is my heart throbbing and all I could see was him making his way to me. He wrapped me with his arms. I could feel the steady beat of his heart.
“You adopted her? You’re not married?” I slowly muttered my questions.
“Yes, from an orphanage in Tagaytay. Besides who told you I am married?”
“Well, no one but who is the girl you were talking about yesterday?”
“Do you want to see her picture?” I nodded as a response. He took his wallet, pulled a picture and handed it to me. It was hard to see in the dark but I realized it was cropped from our class picture. It was me. I was overwhelmed.
Maybe, I am not going to migrate to Greece after all.
I gazed at him. Once again I was lost in those deep black eyes I have fallen in love with years ago. If this is how it feels to be lost, I wish I will never be found.
“I love you, I always have” he whispered to my ear.
My previously broken heart is now jumping with joy. I embraced him tightly.
“It is funny that the only person who can mend your heart is the one who broke it.” I whispered to him smiling. That feeling of being promoted from supervisor to junior vice president cannot describe even half of what I feel now.
“I’m sorry I broke you’re heart” He apologized as he faced me and held my face in his hands.
“It’s ok. This is worth all the pain. You are worth all the pain.” Our eyes met. He gazed into me like he did yesterday. He brought his hand to my face, lightly touching it, caressing my cheeks. He stroked my hair, tucked some loose strands behind my ear and held me closer. I closed my eyes and placed my hands in his neck and started caressing his neck down to his chest.
I have dreamed of this! Finally! My first kiss!

There was a long silence. Then, he burst in laughter.
“What’s so funny?” I retorted with a bit of disappointment in my voice.
“Your face is all black!” he managed to say in between chuckles. When I turned and looked at my reflection in the side mirror. I screamed.
“My mascara!”

When tears fell,,again

Huwag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa amin
Dahil hindi ko alam kung mga titig na ya'y para sa akin
O sa kanyang mas may gandang angkin
Baka mali aking akalain

Huwag kang ngumiti ng ganyan
Tabi kami ng upuan
Baka isipin kong para sa akin yan
Hala, baka ika'y ngitian

Pakiusap huwag mong hayaang isipin ko na ako nga
Tapos siya pala
Tapos mahal ka rin nya
Ayoko namang maging kontrabida

Tapos magiging kayo
Sasabihin kong masaya ako para sa inyo
Kahit parang sasabog na ako
Kahit ang sakit-sakit na dito

Masakit, mahirap kasi wala akong masabihan
Pinili mo kasi'y aking kaibigan
Iiyak na lang mag-isa
Gagamutin ang sarili ng di nyo nakikita

Kasi walang kasing sakit ang umasa
Pag hindi naman pala pinapaasa
Sanay na ako sa buhay ng walang nanliligaw
Kaya wag mong ipahiwatig na baka ikaw

Tapos hindi pala.
Kaya tapos na.

Effortlessly

I hate the way you smile so sweetly
I hate the way you kneel down to pray fervently
I hate to know that you can sing
I hate to realize that you can do almost everything

I hate dreaming you could walk me home
I hate hoping you’d text my phone
I hate seeing you close your eyes and still looking so admirable
I hate realizing how good you are and responsible

I hate seeing you everyday
I hate admiring you uncontrollably
I hate smiling when you come across my way
But most of all, I hate the way you make me fall for you……effortlessly.

CSI

Napakadelikado talaga sa mundo ngayon. May mga salisi gang, budol-budol, laglag barya at marami pang iba. Sabi nga nila kahit saan mo raw ilagay ang mga bagay na mahalaga sa’yo, makukuha pa rin.

Nakukuha ng hindi mo man lang nalalaman, ng hindi mo namamalayan.

Minsan ang kumukuha pa ay iyong mga hindi mo inaakalang kukuha. At ang pinakamatindi pa sa lahat, yung mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo pa ang tumatraydor sa’yo.

Sabagay, kahit saan mo nga naman itago ang isang bagay, makukuha at makukuha pa rin yan, kahit nga mga safety deposit boxes at gigantic vaults ng mga bangko nananakawan eh.

Haay, things are really not meant to be with you forever. They just have to go.

Pero bakit ganoon, hindi ka naman thing di ba?

Bakit yakap na kita na-snatch ka pa?!

15 minutes

“Alam mo gusto ko mahal kita. Kasi ang bait mo, lagi mo akong binibigyan ng lollipop. Tapos sabay pa birthday natin. Ikaw ba gusto mo bang mahal mo ako?”
“Ano ba yun?”
“Basta.”
“O, sige”
“ Kaya lang sabi ng nanay ko yung mahal daw kapag malaki na tayo saka lang pwede”
“Paano na yun?”
“e di pag malaki na tayo”
“Kailan ba yung malaki na tayo?”
“Sabi ng nanay ko pag naka-21 na birthday na raw ako, malaki na ako. Ikaw, nakailang birthday ka na ba?”
“Six pa lang eh”
“Ako rin”
“Matagal pa pala”


Hindi ko makakalimutan ang usapan nating ‘yun kahit grade 1 pa lang tayo. Pati na rin nung JS natin nung 4th year. Nagulat ako sa sinabi mo noong nagsasayaw tayo:


“Nakailan ka na?”
“Ha?”
“Nakalimutan mo na ba?”
“Hindi noh. Naka-17 na ako. Ikaw ba?”
“Loka. E di 17 din. Magka-birthday kaya tayo.”
“Oo nga ano.ahahaha”
“Basta pag naka-21 na tayo, magkikita tayo sa chapel ng eksaktong 8 ng gabi. Pag wala tayo doon ng saktong 8 ibig sabihin may mahal na tayong iba”
“Ok. Usapan yan”


Hindi ko talaga nalimutan yun. Naka-21 na ako kaya ako nandito. Tututpad ako sa pangako dahil ikaw lang ang mahal ko. Pero bakit ganoon, nak-21 ka na rin di ba? Bakit wala ka pa? May mahal ka na bang iba?


1 minuto na lang 8 na. Wala ka pa rin.


10 seconds na lang. Hindi ka pa dumarating.


5… 4…3…2…1.


8 na sa relo ko. Wala ka pa rin. Wala ka na. Wala na.


Ang sakit.



Umaasa ako.


Ang sakit.


All these years ikaw lang ang mahal ko.


Ang sakit.


4 years lang tayong hindi nagkita may iba ka na.



Uuwi na lang ako. Itutulog ko na alng ito. Dyan lang ang bahay naming pero nag-jeep ako. Hindi ko kayang maglakad. Hindi ko na maalala kung nagbayad ba ako. Dumapa ako sa sofa namin.


I feel so hurt.


I feel so broken.


I feel so…OH MY GOD!!!!SHOCKS ANG TANGA KO!!


Nagmamadali akong tumakbo papuntang chapel. Nakapambahay ppa akong tsinelas. Gulo-gulo ang buhok ko. Pero nandoon ka. Naiyak ako sa tuwa. Niyakap mo ako at tinanong:



Dumating naman ako di ba?Bakit ka umiiyak?


Wala akong nasabi kundi:


15 minutes advanced kasi ang relo ko.

Sa mga takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya

Sumakay ako sa Toki nung isang araw. Pag baba ko nalungkot ako or rather nainis ako. Nakakainis talaga pag may nakasakay kang mga taong takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya.
Iba-iba pa ang istilo ng mga yan. May mga lingon to the max kunwari'y hindi napapansin ang inaabot na barya. Kahit mapaos ka pa sa kakasabi ng "Makikiabot po ng bayad" ay wala kang mapapala. Mayroon namang sleeping beauty ang drama. Tulog kunwari. Di bale ng mauntog 'wag lang makagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya. Kawawang barya. At ang pinakamatindi sa lahat ng matindi ay ang mga taong tinitingnan lang ang inaabot mong barya na para bang sinasabi "Fly barya. Fly!"
Paano kung lahat ng tao ay matakot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya? Paano kung bawat sakay mo ng jeep ay kailangan mo pang lumapit sa driver (habang nakatuwad) para iabot ang bayad mo? Hindi kaya magka-scoliosis lahat ng tao?
Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung aabutin natin ang bayad ng iba at makakarinig pa ng "salamat" na may bonus pang smile? Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung sa pag-abot natin ng ating bayad ay may nakahandang umabot nito?Hindi ba mas magiging maganda ang araw nating lahat kung lahat tayo ay hindi takot sa kagat ng hindi nangangagat na barya??

Eh

e kung kaibigan lang tingin niya sa akin e
e hindi nga niya ako tinitingnan e
e kung iba talaga ang gusto niya e
e kung iba is not an element of ako e
e kung hindi siya interesado sa akin e
e kung hindi niya nakikita ang tunay na ako e
e kung makita man niya, ayaw rin niya e
e kung talagang hindi niya malimutan yung isa e
e kung hindi niya alam na gusto ko siya e
e kahit malamn niya wala naman siyang pakialam e
e kung umasa man ako wala ring mangyayari e
e naninigas na ang dila ko sa ka-e-e e
kaya sabi nga sa "Libre"
"e kung hindi ikaw ang laman ng puso niya e"
ANONG MAGAGAWA MO?

Nothing

What a long day
Now I'm sitting with dismay
I lost my book, my life in between its pages
I lost myself in a sea of a thousand faces

I feel so exhausted
I want to cry
I feel deserted
But i don't want to die, not yet

I want to cry
But I don't want to show them
I want to cry
But I don't want my eyes swollen

I want to scream
But I don't want anybody to hear
I want to scream
I hope nobody would care

I feel so melancholic
I feel so down
I feel so...
(let's end this)
NOTHING

MRT

You are at Quezon Avenue Station. Quezon Avenue Station. Thank you for patronizing the Metrostar Express.
Parati akong nakaupo dito. Paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses na yan. Minsan nga naisip ko, "sino kaya ang nagsasalitang yun?" Laging ito ang iniisip ko bago ko siya nakita. Oo, yung babaeng magulo ang buhok, mukhang pagod na pagod at laging nagmamadali. Madalas ko siyang nakikitang isinasaksak ang stord valu ticket sa machine tapos bumababa sa hagdan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit sa libu-libong taong dumadaan siya lang ang napapansin ko. At sa tuwing makikita ko siya, laging ganun ang ginagawa niya. Paulit-ulit.
Pero iba ngayong gabi. Oo, isinaksak niya yung stored value ticket niya pero hindi siya bumababa sa hagdan kundi, tumaas siya sa hagdang kinauupuan ko. Umupo siya ilang hakbang mula sa akin. Tinakpan niya ang mukha niya ng kanyang mga kamay at umiyak. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko. Kinuha ko yung panyo kong puti pero gray na ito ngayon kaya hindi ko maiaalok sa kanya. Hindi ko naman matiis na hindi siya lapitan kaya umupo ako sa tabi niya.

"Bakit ka umiiyak?" tinanong ko siya.

"Ang bilis-bilis kasi ng mundo, naiwan tuloy ako"

"Ako rin nga naiwan eh. Ang tagal ko na nga rito"

Nang sabihin ko yun, tumingin lang siya sa akin. kItang-kita ko sa mga mata niya na malungkot talaga siya kaya sinabi ko sa kanya

"Gusto mo habulin natin. Hindi naman kasi talaga bumibilis ang mundo. Tayo ang bumabagal."

Sa wakas ngumiti siya. Tumayo kai at bumaba sa hagdan. sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon masasabi kong may magandang nangyari sa pag-upo ko sa hagdanan sa may MRT.

Kaya, sa'yo mundo, humanda ka dahil makakahabol din kami sa'yo. At sa babaeng magulo ang buhok atn mukhang pagod na pagod, kumapit ka lang makakahabol din tayo. Oo, makakahabol tayo.