Birthday Surprise

It was a beautiful evening and I was feeling so down again. Good thing nobody noticed because I would surely cry if anyone asked. I was sad because I am tired. I was sad because I feel like I'm killing myself. I was sad because the world seems to contradict my wants, my ideas. I just wanted to work, work to my limits so by then I could rest. The difference between being tired and being sad is that the former has an over-the-counter solution which the latter apparently lacks.

It felt weird smiling all the time when you know deep inside that there was no reason to do so. I was this much depressed. When a friend handed a picture of a certain person to me, i was infuriated. The first thing that popped on my mind was "Did you actually think my whole world revolves around this guy?! What good is a picture if you can't have the real thing?" I was more sulky after that. But then again, the tides turned. I am the worst person to give a surprise to because I always manage to find out (not that i'm trying!) They formed a circle with each holding candles and the next thing I know there was a loud "Happy Birthday" being sung while passers-by curiously look at us. They made me blow 21 candles not once but twice. And, I actually had a cake! A second cake for my birthday! My sadness seemed to drain away. I am very happy not because of the cake or the candles or the party hat but because the people I love were there singing at the top of their lungs that they are happy I was born, that is the best thing in the world. I don't give a damn about the people who don't know or even care if it's my birthday because I already have the ones who matter singing to me. I am happy, very happy.

Now I know that if God were to grant me a post-birthday wish, I would ask that He guide this people and give them the best of health because I don't know what I'd do without them.

And if God so loved me to grant me a second post-birthday wish, I would ask for a day with he-who-must-not-be-named when we could just talk all day without anybody throwing meaningful glances at me and teasing me inside their heads. I find it a great relief to be able to talk to him.

I am expressing this wishes now because God taught me this week that you must be careful what you wish for because you just might get it but you have to be extra careful not wishing for anything because you will get nothing. As goes the old Bible saying "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find." God always knew what i want even before i could put them into words and He gave me exactly that: my friends, my good friends. They are the best birthday gift ever.