not anymore

i used to involuntarily hold my breath when you're around
i used to skip a heart beat when you're on line
i used to be extra clumsy when i hear you coming
i used to stand in awe when i see you smiling
i used to have this tingles on my spine
i used to wish you were mine

but yes, not this time
not this time anymore
not anymore

i guess my love for you died a natural death

Listening to Adele

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Forgive me first love, but I'm tired.
I need to get away to feel again.
Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind.
Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself;
simply, it's tiring.

This love has dried up and stayed behind,
and if I stay I'll be alive,
then choke on words I'd always hide.
Excuse me first love, but we're through.
I need to taste the kiss from someone knew.
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You should know that you're just a temporary fix
This is not rooted with you, it don't mean that much to me
You're just a filler in the space that happened to be free
How dare you think you'd get away with tryin' to play me
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I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
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But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do if I'd end up with you

Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
Or would it be a waste even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere?
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Never mind I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me I beg I'll remembered you said
sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
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So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you, you to just desert me
I cant give you, the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
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You'll never know if you never try
To just forget your past
and simply be mine

you have no right to be lazy because...

• a lot of people believes in you, you have no right to let them down
• although, the outcome is sure as the sun rising each day, there are things called miracles if you believe
• you used to have such passion and you succeed when you ignite it.
• you're the one who said that you want to live with no regrets so try and try.
• you only have 10 days to finish everything
• you need to do it so do it now!
• in this aspect of life, there are no second chances.
• you will not be doing this just to prove yourself, you will be doing this because this is what you want

huli ka!

alas dos ng umaga buhay na buhay pa
kay daming gagawin pag gising na sila
walang kausap, walang kasama
lumilipad ang isip patungong EDSA

biglang nahuli ko na lang ang sarili ko
humihiling, sumasamo
sana andito ka sa tabi ko
sana nakikita ko ang puyat na ngiti mo

ito yung mga panahong hinhiniling kong sana nandito ka
sana hindi naging komplikado ang mundong ginagalawan nating dalawa
sana kayang ayusin ng mundo ang mga problema niya
para may oras tayo sa isa't-isa

sana ngayon ikaw ang kapeng pampagising ko
sana tumatawa ako ng mag-isa sa mga hirit mo
sana madali kong natatapos ang gawain ko
kasi sa totoo lang, inspirado ako

ito yung mga panahong sana kasama kita
sana malapit ka kahit malayo naman talaga
sana wala tayong  mga problema
basta ikaw lang si .... at ako lang si Myka

inaamin kong di ko na dapat naiisip ito
kasi pinalaya ko na ang sarili ko sayo
pero maitatanggi ko ba ang totoo
na sa oras na ito, ikaw lang ang kailangan ko?

moving on

I made a deal with God

Just like what I did a year and a month ago

If you arrive then you will know and will know it all

But if you don't, you will never ever

The deal was 5 minutes after I finish writing my words

I waited. Waited until the time was up.

And even way beyond it.

Everytime the door creaks open, I turn

Wishing every stranger to be you

It was impossible for you to come

But the impossible is impossible if God wills it

So out of faith and love

I clutched that tissue paper drenched in purple

Now my heart and my feelings as fragile as it

I was ready to wait forever

But waiting has to end

God said the time is up

my words written in a tissue paper

i was prepared to tell you but you never came

and as this tissue paper now dissolves in the water

so is my love. so are my feelings

i am now prepared to let you go

because now i know and now for sure

we were never destined for a "forever after"

As I leave, I left that tissue paper

And along with it, my love for you

Although smeared by the choices I made

I tell you it is real. It was real

And yes, it is sad moving on from something that was real

Yes, it is sad but I am not hurting

I am no longer hurting

In fact, I am moving

Moving on.

thank you

thank you. thank God for you.

i was all alone. more alone than i have been inside my mother's womb.
i don't want to talk about it but i want someone to talk to.
i needed diversion. i needed other things to think about.

and there was you. thank God you're my friend. thank God you sleep so late at night.
thank God.

thank you because you understood. thank you because you don't ask questions. thank you.

i'm feeling a lot better now. and you will always be one of the reasons why i got through
and all i can say is thank you :D